Apple, known for products such as the iPhone X, iPhone XR, iPhone XS Max and its “wireless, effortless, magical” AirPods allegedly began producing its AirPower wireless charging platform. Without too much speculative power, it should not take too long for the brain to assume that the launch of the AirPower will be timed with the launch of the second-generation AirPod.
Recently, while visiting San Francisco and watching all the scooter passengers with AirPods in their ears carrying stationary objects while showing a clear lack of spatial awareness, I realized how revolutionary AirPod is. Not only is it a wireless audio delivery device, but it also comes in white and only in white. Will the AirPods 2 come in black or perhaps in pink gold? Will they be red, blue pink or brown? Jony alone, I know, and he’s probably carrying gallons of antacids in his underpants, surrounded by Home Depot paint samples.
Forget about all the previous products, or all the wireless headphones currently on the market (and there are many of them). Forget everything you know about music, audio and things stuck in your ears. It is clear that the only reason why Apple did not announce the AirPods 2 and the AirPower charging platform last year is because it is creating such a revolutionary, innovative device that will literally drown us in the 22nd century of audio technology. . Our earholes are not ready for the weight of what Apple is about to unleash on our tender bony labyrinths.
Sure, we’ve heard Apple rumors about a folding phone, or even a curved phone, but those innovations will be nothing compared to Apple AirPods 2. The AirPods 2 will probably double as a meditation device, sending pulses of calm from your buccal nerves and lingual. . Surely you can send brain scans to your Apple Watch, and the cloud, to be sold to advertisers who sell speed pads.
The AirPods 2, along with the AirPower wireless charging dock, will not only charge your batteries wirelessly, but when you place the palm of your hand on the mat it will infuse your body with the necessary temporary phases, which will allow you to perceive the reality in five dimensions. HealthKit will be activated and, hopefully, will discover the AirPod tumor before it causes a stroke, but until then, your AirPod 2 headphones will be able to detect the ruling class of foreigners without the need for mystical sunglasses.
Some of us have relatively moderate hopes for AirPods 2. Scott just wants them to “not whistle and let me turn down the volume to a comfortable level for a quiet room,” while David wants those mystical sunglasses combined with the AirPods. Most of us just want to show people that we can put things in our ears that are not tied to knuckles.
Because what are the AirPods if not a fashionable accessory? There are much better sound delivery devices on the market, from Bose to Skullcandy. Yet, there is something about the AirPods that elicits a small, electric sensation in our pleasure centers, similar to that of huffing large amounts of glue or chewing on a plastic bag. Whatever the magic is, and whatever new features will be jammed into these tiny ear sticks, we’ll find out later this year when Apple gets around to pressing its logo into a wireless charging mat that should have existed two years ago.